I know what I know,

You are the wind,

You whisper empty promises in my ear.

You push me in a direction I don’t want to go. 

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You know what I know,

I am a bird,

I want to go where I please,

I don’t like my wings clipped,

I sing my own song. 

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We both know,

Just because we love to soar high,

Just because we share the same view,

Just because birds need the wind,

Doesn’t mean I could ever love you.

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You are a parasite,

Sucking the life-bringing water from my roots

To quench your never-ending thirst. 

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You wither my once colorful petals

That you claimed to love. 

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Because if you can’t have me,

Then you want no one else

To so much as lay eyes on me.

And so I wonder,

Did the calm before the storm

Make it all worth it? 

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Maybe that is life,

The good brings the bad

And the great makes the horrible worth it. 

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So I smile,

Because the light needs the dark to shine,

The love and beauty that came

Before betrayal,

Made the pain worth my while.

Your mom let me stay over,

I brought the drinks

To make the night a little warmer. 

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Laughing until we couldn’t breathe,

We were stuck in our own world

Every day was a record on repeat. 

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We were one brain living in two bodies,

We could be apart,

But we were only whole when together. 

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There was no “mine” or “yours”

Only memories stored in both of our heads,

From a life that we shared. 

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We swam through life,

Watching our days float by,

If someone saw us they would see two drowning girls,

But we didn’t care because who needs air

When you can have smoke and powder. 

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With shoeless feet

We crept down the stairs,

Careful not to make a sound. 

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No one could know

That we spent day after night filled with questions.

Questions about what happened? 

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We lived to forget, Because remembering was too painful.

So we swallowed candy pills and drank our stomachs full 

Of different types of poison.

How silly of a thing is that. 

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Now I chase those figments of my imagination

The ones that I sugar-coated,

And mounted on a high pedestal,

The ones who I warped into what I wanted to see. 

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I longed for my old life of lies,

I couldn’t tell you why.

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